i was writing and painting and i stopped writing and kept painting. Then working and painting and then i was just working so i started painting again. But work never goes away bc we are trapped into it. Made into it. Breaking out and Breaking a Sweat. Sitting. Writing.
My sacrum is a concrete block. I'm stretching toward my toes and my upper body, all bendy like willow branches in the wind, is cast in a block of concrete. Planted. Roots. Chakras. Pain. They measured my legs and said good luck. Listen, itisnotthatbad, on paper you look great. I look great on paper for things I don't care about. In reality it all goes willy nilly and I just go home. Up a tree or under a rock. Somewhere quiet, away from the lot of you. No offense. To contort into yoga poses..incorrectly.
I watched Snow Piercer last night. Americas Economy on a train going straight to hell. It was good. Really good. Accurate enough to make me feel sickly. Not totally new, same story. different setting. A Good One.
The days i hate the city blur into the days that i love it. The days i paint or run blur into the days that i don't. i sleep too much and get drunk off my dreams. Bleary and swollen stumbling stretching.Wake up.
The thing no one tells about loving yourself is that when you figure it out and finally do it - you can't end up loving yourself too much to leave who are. Because you will keep changing. and you will leave yourself..the selves that you hate and even the selves that you love. You have to be brave because you can't stay.
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My sacrum is a concrete block. I'm stretching toward my toes and my upper body, all bendy like willow branches in the wind, is cast in a block of concrete. Planted. Roots. Chakras. Pain. They measured my legs and said good luck. Listen, itisnotthatbad, on paper you look great. I look great on paper for things I don't care about. In reality it all goes willy nilly and I just go home. Up a tree or under a rock. Somewhere quiet, away from the lot of you. No offense. To contort into yoga poses..incorrectly.
I watched Snow Piercer last night. Americas Economy on a train going straight to hell. It was good. Really good. Accurate enough to make me feel sickly. Not totally new, same story. different setting. A Good One.
The days i hate the city blur into the days that i love it. The days i paint or run blur into the days that i don't. i sleep too much and get drunk off my dreams. Bleary and swollen stumbling stretching.Wake up.
The thing no one tells about loving yourself is that when you figure it out and finally do it - you can't end up loving yourself too much to leave who are. Because you will keep changing. and you will leave yourself..the selves that you hate and even the selves that you love. You have to be brave because you can't stay.
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| July 22, 2014. My 36th Birthday. Bank of the Mississippi River |
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