Oh Sorry I Grabbed The Wrong Skull Sometimes when i remember my life so far its like im already dead
Patches of memoires stitched togehter like a quilt.
A scrap of a shoulder of a friend i wept on in 1998,
The funeral of my lover's father in a triangle shape sewn near the corner,
A long rectangular strip of kisses in the moonlight blurry faces and tears.
The taste of playdoh and clorox and the stench of children
and the horror of school, a training facilty for hairless apes.
Too much beer, the back of a truck, and some slaughtered animals.
The taste of blood and broken glass.
The look on her face when the they took me away.
Cigarette smells and doll clothes are years apart, but they are woven toghether
in a parade of blue green flecks and ash...
Somewhere in a tangle of thread near my heart, the left ventricle, I believe
is some fingernails, a tooth, a lock of hair and a hateful look from
a boy I erased.
Cut out.
Paperdoll hearts, my sister's hair in the sunlight.
That year i buried my baby teeth wtih the dogs collar
The year i wrecked the car
The year i wrecked my life
The year i wrecked yours
The month i wore the exact same thing everyday and refused to bathe
The year i ate so many pills i forgot who you were
I forgot who i was
I didnt sleep for almost a month was i was 15
When I was twelve I stopped eating flesh
I built a glass box and hid in it and it was such a great disguise,
a great surprise.
Later, I learned about the reptiles rolling over and
waking up the beasts.
It's not that easy to evolve a human, God said.
Give me some credit.
I did. Then I left him in the ditch with
the little plastic Mary and the Jesus candle
so lovingly plucked from the shelf at the K&B
and carefully placed between the Buddha bong and Dracula.
Why did it take so long to get here?
A place where nothing feels real and I can only remember things
that didn't even happen.
Babies dont grow in my belly, lies do.
I live alone and take the trash out on
the wrong day.
Carefully manage wobbling ankles
on strappy high heels.
I'm sorry I forgot what I was doing.
Was I going somewhere?
I was remembering something but,
like I said, I dont think it really happened, sir.
Thank you and good night.
I just wanted to know if your experience was similar to mine.
If your regrets where spread out in pale blue against a green sharp blade
of glass, I mean grass
Spread out so you could see them just by glancing up.
If the moon made you weep and if
everyone had grown so tired of your mellodramatic ways years ago.
It's not? I see. I'm going to gather up
these scraps of brightly colored bits
to make something to wrap up in.
Wrap my bones up in.
You see, I'm growing very tired of remembering
and im growing very tired of flesh.
