Will power is continuing to paint when you know you suck
Continuing to write when you know you are not a writer
And continuing to eat when you think you are big enough
But you know there are people counting on you to keep going.
So yeah, I am working on this watercolor. Practice.
Non stop practice, it feels like.
So yeah, Im like, this is stupid. And pointless.
Buti keep going, I am still in that mode.
My moods, they don’t come and flash and go
They come and they settle and stay a while.
And I drink. And I smoke. And I paint.
Its bad, yeah. I know.
But the thing about addiction… is THIS. Don’t congratulate yourself
For your willpower when it comes to E.D. – AN specifically.
Don't congratulate yourself for starving..when you LIKE it. when you are addicted to it.
Does anyone congratulate a drug addict for snorting all THOSE LINES???
or an alcoholic for drinking THAT MUCH??? no. NO. But it is the same thing.
resisting food is not -
NOT about having a strong personality..when it is something you are addicted to.
jesus. Does this society's love affair with thin NEVER end? really though.
I LIKED IT.
just like i like struggling to be a good painter..when
i know...there are only a handful of good ones.
oh well.
its the struggle, right? the struggle for balance and for health.
"No Struggle.
No Progress "- (frederick douglass quote.)
hmm this painting is just a copy from a magazine. i do that sometimes for practice. but it kept looking more and more like me as a confused kid than as a fashion model in NYLON. so i let it go and be that. ugly dress and all. then i made a butterfly with mis matched wings out of a different kind of paper and sewed that on. MALadaPTIve uNIVersE.
3 comments:
i liked it too.
i'm just learning to have a good time without alcohol. let me re-phrase, i'm just learning to have a good time.
i'm glad you tell us drink. it's good to notice.
that would be -- i'm glad you tell us you drink.
Thank you. I needed to read this.
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