Everytime i have myself almost convinced that i can live in a loveless medicated half life some one shows up to remind me that i used to believe in something.
she said love me and let me go
she said love me and let me live
im just not finished yet...some stories just remain unwritten, right?
some pictures just remain unfinished.
I asked him about it ..how he dealt with loss. He said, 'look really,..you know what i do? i just try not to remember okay. i dont want to remember...even your good memories are just reminders of what you don't have anymore. just shove it all down deep"
"god. is that what everyone does?"
"yeah. i guess. i don't know. or they go to therapy"
4 comments:
I see that you and I have been on a blogging spree today. Each of us post 3 entries within the same hour.
I try to believe in something. Something special. Something worthy of being expressed and received, shared. Something worthwhile. It's hard amongst all of the ridiculous bullshit that life has to offer.
are you the same person if you didn't have past memories?
yes, i believe, we all live to forget, but forgetting seems like a waste of precious things.
remember the good things, but also bits of the bad so you won't make the same mistakes twice.
I've been trying to think of a response to this post but words fail me. I suppose it's difficult because in therapy I was taught that the average person has better less maladaptive coping mechanisms than us, not that they just shove it all down inside. Which was the opposite of what I always suspected, that everyone was just coping badly, but in less obvious ways. I know what he means though. My good memories can be just as acidic as my bad ones sometimes.
Lola x
i don't know what to do about loss. it blows all through me, over and over and over. for me, guilt, shame and self-hatred stand with it.
"acidic", such the perfect word from lola snow.
does it get better? does time heal? do i want it to heal, for then i won't remember as well, as clearly.
ow.
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