altered altar

I have been working on this for like five years. Okaaay more like 5 months...I work on it and then toss it aside and then come back to it. I have sculptures of most of my paintings. That headless body. In a box in a Coffin, free standing or slumped. Broken pieces of them litter my house. a torso in a flower pot -  she is not Growing by the aloe vera  - just BEING there. She is.

My first sculpture class. I made a figure. Headless armless, jagged bone shoulders and hips with a fleshy belly and thighs. She was miniature, I was getting read to make a few life size ones. 

I grew. Abnormally. Attached. I carried her everywhere. In my purse. In my backpack. Placed her on the car seat beside me. She got chipped. I drew her in various locations, in various light.

I was AN "recovered" at this point. Or rather, i had traded one illness for a few other minor addictions....but physically i was all healed and i was emotionally healing

some trauma

with 

some art.

Every figure i drew, every figure i sculpted...

took me a little farther from that fucked up body

and all those fucked up things that happened.

Sympathetic magic, my love.

i guess.

so see that is why i am real pissed off about

and refuse to forget about

that girl that copied my paintings.

bc she doesn't know what they MEAN.

she just stole the images.

Which, of course, is morally reprehensible

(and unprofessional) for an ARTIST

and on the level of basic humanity and decency is beyond morally reprehensible but..?

People told me that imitation is flattery but i disagree.

inspiration is flattery. I was inspired by several of the women i went to school with.

The person that breaks into your house and steals your TV is not complimenting you

for having great taste in electronics. They are disrespecting all of your rights and taking your stuff bc they want to.....

and that is totes lame.

but whatever right. Art therapy is what I am thinking about here. I am also thinking about  my refusal to compromise. bc in some situations I know I would have more friends and more...money even and all that shit if i would let go of some pretty hardcore beliefs i have about loyalty and friendship and honor and truth and ....

but i wont.

So should i? Alter my altar? Change to whom I devote the deepest part of me?

Well if I am a witch, I'm a good witch. Devoted to the green growing things and moonlight.

Bloodshed with good intentions.

That bone goddess and the Hunger pit

are not for worshipping. They were for overcoming.