Day 3

3rd sad day. Red eyed and blue. I am fine. just like always. I dont have the guts it takes to disappear from view. I guess it will just be this way for a while, until the pendulum swings or the clocks in my belly tick forward or the glass breaks or the moon changes phases and eventually I will forget.

So i was standing on the edge of a grave and I was alone and the hole was for 97 years of life and the sun was real hot and i put my arm around my sister bc i wanted someone to touch me and no one did. her eyes are so blue, she looked at me. she told me to be still. there was a prayer and stuff.

We giggle like little girls over the food, country food...and at our cousins ....those people you only see at events in sterile rooms with lots of metal folding chairs.

Eventually we all get stunned by how not fun life can get i suppose.

I am glad answering machines aren't around much anymore. i hated that blinking 0.