well that ended quickly.
and honestly.
I always end up liking people too much.
He was merciful at least.
I find other people's pain overwhelming and i feel it. i feel it
i have too much schoolwork to drink but all i want to do is drink.
seriously. xanax and beer.
pretty web of confusion and lies and then shiny sleep
and honestly.
I always end up liking people too much.
He was merciful at least.
I find other people's pain overwhelming and i feel it. i feel it
i have too much schoolwork to drink but all i want to do is drink.
seriously. xanax and beer.
pretty web of confusion and lies and then shiny sleep
6 comments:
I poke through your archives probably twice a year, gems like "Express yourself freely however yu do it as if yr life depended on it. Bc the way this rock is rolling, is probably does." keep me going. I've been writing a book for going on two years and am thisclose to being done. You've been such an inspiration, I wanted to say thank you and take care of yourself. xxoBee
i know it so well, which it doesn't make it one bit easier, i know. i really don't understand it at all.
and i know drinking and klonopin.
i'm thinking about you shawna.
I'm so sorry you are being hurt so much lately. You are a beautiful, intelligent, talented woman who deserve real love!
Please be careful with the Xanax and alcohol. That can be very dangerous and I don't want anything to happen to you.
*Hugs*
Angela
isn't it strange how you can never find anyone that you can truly love with all the love you have. all the moments you think of in your head and the soft kisses, are exchanged for the reality which is at hand.
its our minds/hearts/emotions/wherever those thoughts come from, that lies to you. we are own worst enemies because no one can be the desires in our dreams.
but encouraging words are better, like 'they are not worth it all' and 'no one deserves to be hurt by another.'
true true.
i say forget guys and find yourself a girl to hold, from personal experience, they are softer and bit less hostile but just as demanding.
at any rate, best of luck out there in the jungle of love.
i just have this overwhelming amount of love inside me and i tried to smash it and kill and silence it and starve it and it wont go away and no one wants it and i just dont know what to do with it bc i overwhelm myself and humans are social animals so it is like we are biologically designed to need other people but other people are my poison it is just like food. i have to have it, but it makes something go terribly wrong inside me. I wish i could see your faces. your words mean a lot to me. i am attempting to balance this - thank you for your concerns.
but you know what? i dont want a dream person. i can deal with flaws i can see them and accept them and be okay with it. I did it for love, I have done it. No one i find, wants to be loved despite their imperfections.
and i understand bc i didnt want to be loved for a long time, i wanted to be rescued and i wanted to be screamed at. I wanted to be hurt. and then i grew. and i grew and i changed and now i am alone on another plane of crazy.
we will find peace. we will. somehow. all of us.
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