last night falling asleep in my rickety green bed in the leaky house by the river with my awesome warm dog in the the room next to my super cool roommate
peace - the first thing i think/see is clear calm cool open space. No nagging doubt, no anxious chatter and worry and hate talk and ....static of negative energy being directed TO me or anyone... FROM me or anyone. peace does not seem like happiness really just the the ABSENCE of hate and disruption.
i feel less anxious when i paint or draw but bc i feel like the anxiety is being channeled/ forced/ directed out of me....but i dont really focus on it. I just conduct the stream, i do not examine it. Another anxiety ( you cant draw, this sucks, why do you bother, that angle is wrong, that line is wrong) rises some, but i have learned to silence that voice. When i was younger, it could bring to me tears (i wanted to make art so bad, i HAD to do it - why was i so awful at it?) I learned to forgive myself for not being a perfect artist or making a perfect drawing the first (twenty) tries....Getting past that was monumental so now I can usually work without that voice getting too loud.
3 comments:
what does "peace" mean to you?
do you feel less anxious when you are drawing/painting/writing or more so?
peace - the first thing i think/see is clear calm cool open space. No nagging doubt, no anxious chatter and worry and hate talk and ....static of negative energy being directed TO me or anyone... FROM me or anyone. peace does not seem like happiness really just the the ABSENCE of hate and disruption.
i feel less anxious when i paint or draw but bc i feel like the anxiety is being channeled/ forced/ directed out of me....but i dont really focus on it. I just conduct the stream, i do not examine it.
Another anxiety ( you cant draw, this sucks, why do you bother, that angle is wrong, that line is wrong) rises some, but i have learned to silence that voice. When i was younger, it could bring to me tears (i wanted to make art so bad, i HAD to do it - why was i so awful at it?) I learned to forgive myself for not being a perfect artist or making a perfect drawing the first (twenty) tries....Getting past that was monumental so now I can usually work without that voice getting too loud.
peace to you!
s
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