This painting is old... a few years.
But it still rings true.
my brain is churning and these waves
of panic keep going over me.
I have to figure something out
I have to figure out whose mask this is
Sometimes i mourn the loss of each day
I know you have to look forward and
everything...
but i remember who I used to be and
it seems like that person is dead somewhere
the good of her
and thebad of her
life is about lettin go, i keep learning that.
I keep learning that i HAVE to let go...
i have not learned how to do it and not let it HURT.
Do you just let the pain wash over you? do you just sit with it? it hurts SO bad.
I told someone two days ago that i was not depressed anymore but...
I think i was just not depressed at THAT moment.
each moment feels like a whole new mood. This is very exhausting.
I see the doctor tomorrow.
2 comments:
today i feel like I have felt ever emotion a human can feel!
all in one day.
i tell you what... i have quite a colourful range... and i can't just sit with any of them. when im sad i slump into the couch, I flop onto my bed, I drag my feet when I walk, when I am hopeful I rush around the house with paints and lists in my arms, I smile, I laugh and I can feel my brain rushing all over the show. I cry loud, I laugh loud and I live loud.
good luck with the doctor tomorrow.
I told someone i wasnt depressed the other day too, when I think I actually am. I told someone I was happy aswell. . and I am that aswell.
its all a bit of a muddle.
life is def letting go, acceptance and balance.
my friend always says time and consistency... thats how you get well.
time and consistency.
i hope the doctor can help. it's really frustrating to find the right meds isn't it?
it seems that that which tortures you leads to the most amazing art. if you get absorbed in your work, do you get any relief from depression and anxiety?
take care, shawna. good luck at the doctor
Post a Comment